I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
