Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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