? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
