and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
