Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
