I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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