dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
