Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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