I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
