BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His hands were made for my vagina.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
