i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
