Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
