ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
