when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
