well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
