Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
