Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
