BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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