if you like me you must not know who I am
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
