I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
