Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
