She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize