Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
