That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
