PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
