ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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