did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
