WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
