It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
