he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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