accomplished twins. life is a go
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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