my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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