I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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