Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
