The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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