you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
