READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
