I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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