my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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