I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
