Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
