This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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