i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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