We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
