found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Actions speak louder than pants.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
