i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
