I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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