once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
