i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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