And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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