Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would ride that face into the sunset
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
